If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
