good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
When did angry sex become our thing?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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