she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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