Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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