Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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