Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
