is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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