seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize