Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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