what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
