I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
