I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize