obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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