when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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