Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it

  (586): View more from Michigan

  We did he did.

  (586): View more from Michigan

  When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers

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  (586): Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it (586): We did he did. (586): When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers http://tfl.nu/dzfm
  Replies (6) Good night (1572) Bad night (561)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.

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  (704): i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes. http://tfl.nu/4acf
  Replies (54) Good night (3719) Bad night (2645)
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  (+30): View more from

  Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi

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  (+30): Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi http://tfl.nu/acnu
  Replies (13) Good night (6138) Bad night (1189)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15

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  (301): did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15 http://tfl.nu/scbj
  Replies (7) Good night (2594) Bad night (921)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch

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  (269): I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch http://tfl.nu/4tdt
  Replies (10) Good night (2748) Bad night (1245)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon

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  (715): yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon http://tfl.nu/62g9
  Replies (7) Good night (598) Bad night (1304)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too

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  (954): I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too http://tfl.nu/81kp
  Replies (0) Good night (1025) Bad night (458)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did

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  (509): So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did http://tfl.nu/hjy4
  Replies (2) Good night (1349) Bad night (340)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.

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  (801): I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck. http://tfl.nu/p42i
  Replies (1) Good night (867) Bad night (290)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.

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  (202): I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house. http://tfl.nu/n9mx
  Replies (7) Good night (1560) Bad night (333)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.

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  (318): I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America. http://tfl.nu/y2p1
  Replies (2) Good night (529) Bad night (285)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her

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  (902): I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her http://tfl.nu/dzic
  Replies (6) Good night (667) Bad night (347)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.

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  (306): I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus (1-306): you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now. http://tfl.nu/txg4
  Replies (3) Good night (290) Bad night (652)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.

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  (973): THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK. http://tfl.nu/ffuw
  Replies (2) Good night (938) Bad night (253)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.

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  (512): So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/0h6g
  Replies (4) Good night (786) Bad night (187)

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