Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me

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  (815): Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me http://tfl.nu/z1h9
  Replies (2) Good night (1159) Bad night (552)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...

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  (630): i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college... http://tfl.nu/0xsv
  Replies (33) Good night (3118) Bad night (821)
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  (518): View more from New York

  when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'

  (1-518): View more from New York

  i pity the fetus.

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  (518): when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations' (1-518): i pity the fetus. http://tfl.nu/r9cp
  Replies (29) Good night (761) Bad night (5412)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.

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  (313): No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/6118
  Replies (11) Good night (904) Bad night (3889)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow

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  (770): i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow http://tfl.nu/owei
  Replies (102) Good night (5341) Bad night (1303)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  "reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.

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  (515): "reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time. http://tfl.nu/in1x
  Replies (15) Good night (4441) Bad night (1244)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off

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  (215): the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off http://tfl.nu/gmrh
  Replies (17) Good night (5620) Bad night (1388)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.

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  (910): Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study. http://tfl.nu/l0py
  Replies (13) Good night (2519) Bad night (3229)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."

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  (202): But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery." http://tfl.nu/8w5e
  Replies (11) Good night (1552) Bad night (4332)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?

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  (240): planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you? http://tfl.nu/bdmu
  Replies (7) Good night (1479) Bad night (739)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.

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  (720): As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap. http://tfl.nu/ppqd
  Replies (4) Good night (1661) Bad night (583)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409

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  (501): And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409 http://tfl.nu/uewi
  Replies (4) Good night (597) Bad night (1250)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?

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  (845): Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do? http://tfl.nu/0iqf
  Replies (5) Good night (771) Bad night (1122)
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  (916): View more from California

  If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.

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  (916): If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it. http://tfl.nu/e2co
  Replies (5) Good night (763) Bad night (1069)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.

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  (703): I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot. http://tfl.nu/kon3
  Replies (1) Good night (386) Bad night (102)

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