My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.