Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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