Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?