Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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