I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
