i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
