this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.