but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex