shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't