Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(973): View more from New Jersey

New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Why are we friends again?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(973): New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out.. (1-973): Why are we friends again? http://tfl.nu/4ygf

Replies (38) Good night (1021) Bad night (3145)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans. http://tfl.nu/f9ad

Replies (74) Good night (4110) Bad night (1879)
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America. http://tfl.nu/zzy7

Replies (11) Good night (7379) Bad night (532)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow. http://tfl.nu/rpb6

Replies (37) Good night (2875) Bad night (4234)
Favorite
(661): View more from California

Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?

(1-661): View more from California

What the hell did you do last night?!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(661): Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy? (1-661): What the hell did you do last night?! http://tfl.nu/xxav

Replies (48) Good night (834) Bad night (9907)
Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal..... http://tfl.nu/xm36

Replies (29) Good night (6531) Bad night (1453)
Favorite
(336): View more from North Carolina

Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(336): Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape. http://tfl.nu/9ahj

Replies (3) Good night (3239) Bad night (908)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway

(925): View more from California

I hate that you know that from experience

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway (925): I hate that you know that from experience http://tfl.nu/zmuh

Replies (11) Good night (1302) Bad night (2346)
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch. http://tfl.nu/wlr1

Replies (6) Good night (631) Bad night (1967)
Favorite
(605): View more from South Dakota

I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(605): I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming. http://tfl.nu/djrq

Replies (15) Good night (1335) Bad night (3317)
Favorite
(702): View more from Nevada

The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(702): The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever. http://tfl.nu/lrkg

Replies (7) Good night (2220) Bad night (500)
Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga. http://tfl.nu/uvum

Replies (2) Good night (875) Bad night (279)
Favorite
(903): View more from Texas

He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(903): He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless. http://tfl.nu/fekz

Replies (4) Good night (1038) Bad night (266)
Favorite
(646): View more from New York

Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(646): Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor http://tfl.nu/9swp

Replies (1) Good night (473) Bad night (201)
Favorite
(505): View more from New Mexico

Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(505): Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems http://tfl.nu/nr34

Replies (3) Good night (326) Bad night (310)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: