I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.