Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club http://tfl.nu/ouuf
  Replies (1) Good night (1259) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how. http://tfl.nu/qfuo
  Replies (6) Good night (2696) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I'm so hungover that the internet is hard. http://tfl.nu/0l8c
  Replies (17) Good night (4209) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays. http://tfl.nu/zion
  Replies (11) Good night (1132) Bad night (4633)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways. http://tfl.nu/jmoy
  Replies (3) Good night (2804) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that. http://tfl.nu/mbpz
  Replies (14) Good night (1902) Bad night (1412)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris" http://tfl.nu/5ny6
  Replies (6) Good night (2333) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now! http://tfl.nu/v05a
  Replies (7) Good night (1553) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer. http://tfl.nu/ehgy
  Replies (10) Good night (1991) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.

  (760): View more from California

  Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): He is just a personification of a vodka hangover. (760): Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes. http://tfl.nu/e8aw
  Replies (1) Good night (1160) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win. http://tfl.nu/livq
  Replies (8) Good night (926) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong? http://tfl.nu/plyg
  Replies (17) Good night (471) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing. http://tfl.nu/wa5t
  Replies (3) Good night (503) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"? http://tfl.nu/vwsz
  Replies (2) Good night (612) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult. http://tfl.nu/45g5
  Replies (2) Good night (226) Bad night (378)

Randomize