...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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