I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
