My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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