waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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