why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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