So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
