He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
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