piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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