Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
