If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
