we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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