You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
