he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
