I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
