margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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