We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
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dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
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Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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