He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
sarcasm needs its own font
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
