White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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