so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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