genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
