Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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