But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I will die if light touches me.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
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the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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