OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm sobbing to NWA
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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