Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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