god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
