"it" just moved
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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