We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
