is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
