No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
