I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
