Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
