i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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