it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
