Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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