i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
