Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize