Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?