i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
